Argh!

Hey guys, sorry I haven't blogged for a while - been having a bloody nightmare time.

Well we are off to Cornwall for Matt's interview, it's sort of make or break this one really so it's just a bit stressful. Haven't had the money back from the last one yet and not expecting it til the end of the week so Matt took my slr camera to the pawn shop today (it's worth over £500) and they said they only take digital ones! Both our digi cameras combined would only get us about £60 at the pawn shop! So we are going to have to drive to farnworth tomorrow before we go and take Matt's bass guitar which is his pride and joy and probably my stereo too - just to raise enough for this bloody trip! We still haven't paid the £500 of bills we owe but have lucked out in that they are taking their time disconnecting us! We also still owe the landlord £200 from last month's rent! And here we are with no money and needing £200 in the next 18 hours so we can get to an interview which is vital for our life plans! Great isn't it?

On top of that, I'm having serious issues with my family. I obviously won't go into too much detail here but my mother is really ill by her own doing and relating to this is the fact that our family is slowly coming apart at the seams. Luckily, my sisters and brother and I are all really close so we always have each other to talk to. Also my dad is a great bloke and we are all supporting him as it is clearly my mum who is in the wrong. Saying that it's still stressful and upsetting, especially for my little sister who is only 16 and has been right in the middle of the whole mess. She's got a great boyfriend though and she stays with my older sister a lot to get away from stuff. It's all such a mess but it's really hard to try and explain on here without divulging anything as think it's all a bit too sensitive to betray everyone's right to privacy. Suffice to say the night it happened I spent all night on the phone with my family, 2 hours with my dad, and didn't sleep a wink. I was trying to drop off at 6am when my husband's alarm went off and I thought I may as well just get up at that point. I feel a right mess at the moment.

So things aren't great as you can no doubt tell! I am stressed out to the point where my head will not stop pounding and I feel nauseous all the time. I'm having blood tests this week anyway for thyroid and diabetes and ME and stuff, but I wouldn't be surprised if it's all just caused by stress!

Well that's me! Won't be able to blog the next couple of days as I will hopefully find some miraculous way of getting to cornwall.... if I was religious I'd be praying right about now!!

Gem x