tHE litEraRY gEniUs oF ME!

Hello!!!!!!!!!!

Wow, I been gone a loooooooong time, no?

Well I won't go into why, simply cannot be bothered.

I am currently being hounded by impatient ebay customers - I can't abide these people who start hassling within ten minutes of winning the auction. Like I don't have anything better to do than pop to the post office every five minutes each time someone pays me? Fuck's sake.

Well I have become distracted of late by the wonder of facebook! Spend far too much time on there, but it is nice to see what people are up to and catch up with old friends, so I guess it's not so bad.

Right, too much to do today for writing, but thought I'd let you all know I am alive and well! Thanks for everyone who's emailed me in the intermittent period. Promise to be better at keeping this up to date from now on!

Smell Ya
Gem x

Argh!

Hey guys, sorry I haven't blogged for a while - been having a bloody nightmare time.

Well we are off to Cornwall for Matt's interview, it's sort of make or break this one really so it's just a bit stressful. Haven't had the money back from the last one yet and not expecting it til the end of the week so Matt took my slr camera to the pawn shop today (it's worth over £500) and they said they only take digital ones! Both our digi cameras combined would only get us about £60 at the pawn shop! So we are going to have to drive to farnworth tomorrow before we go and take Matt's bass guitar which is his pride and joy and probably my stereo too - just to raise enough for this bloody trip! We still haven't paid the £500 of bills we owe but have lucked out in that they are taking their time disconnecting us! We also still owe the landlord £200 from last month's rent! And here we are with no money and needing £200 in the next 18 hours so we can get to an interview which is vital for our life plans! Great isn't it?

On top of that, I'm having serious issues with my family. I obviously won't go into too much detail here but my mother is really ill by her own doing and relating to this is the fact that our family is slowly coming apart at the seams. Luckily, my sisters and brother and I are all really close so we always have each other to talk to. Also my dad is a great bloke and we are all supporting him as it is clearly my mum who is in the wrong. Saying that it's still stressful and upsetting, especially for my little sister who is only 16 and has been right in the middle of the whole mess. She's got a great boyfriend though and she stays with my older sister a lot to get away from stuff. It's all such a mess but it's really hard to try and explain on here without divulging anything as think it's all a bit too sensitive to betray everyone's right to privacy. Suffice to say the night it happened I spent all night on the phone with my family, 2 hours with my dad, and didn't sleep a wink. I was trying to drop off at 6am when my husband's alarm went off and I thought I may as well just get up at that point. I feel a right mess at the moment.

So things aren't great as you can no doubt tell! I am stressed out to the point where my head will not stop pounding and I feel nauseous all the time. I'm having blood tests this week anyway for thyroid and diabetes and ME and stuff, but I wouldn't be surprised if it's all just caused by stress!

Well that's me! Won't be able to blog the next couple of days as I will hopefully find some miraculous way of getting to cornwall.... if I was religious I'd be praying right about now!!

Gem x

Help!

Seriously... fast running out of options!

Wah!

Well, I just read that last blog from last night - god it sounds bad! I was juuust a leeeeetle bit drunky poos hmm. I thought I'd better point out that I don't have a problem with lesbians! I have many friends and relatives (more than your average it has to be said) who are of the lesbian persuasion, but I did have a problem with serbis winning last night - and not because they were lesbans hahaha! Oh and not because I have a problem with serbia either!

Oh god, spoon, hole. I'll give up now!

Well, I thought Ukraine should have won - that was bloody fantastic, how could anyone not think so? I also really liked France and thought they would do better, and Sweden - the new Marc Bolan just a bit! But great anyway!

I haven't been pissed for ages it was great fun! But I did injure my jaw. And now I have a bit of a hangover wurgh which is not quite so nice :/

Still haven't solved this money problem, if we don't conjure up £500 by the end of this week we'll have no gas (so no heating or hot water) no electric (so no... anything!) and no internet!!! How on earth could we possibley cope! Yeah so it's a bit of a nightmare. Obviously we could cope with no gas as we can just wear jumpers and the shower is electric so that's ok, and we could cope without the net although it would cut us off a bit and we wouldn't be able to put anything on ebay in order to make some more money, but not the end of the world. But electric? I'm sorry, there's no way of coping with no lighs, no cooker, no kettle, no fridge, no showers, no mobile phones (how would we charge them?) and no tv! So panicking just a bit right now! God, if only we were rich! Bollocks.

Anyway, I got stuff to do (probably) so I'll write again soon - if I'm still connected!!!

Brum brum

Gem x

Why did those big lesbians win eurovision?

It should have been the gays from Ukraine! They were amaxing!

I drink too much cheap wine now cant see proper do hope this makes sence!

Love oo xx

Bah.

Well we got to Cornwall and back without being caught with no tax!

You should have seen the fucking weather though - seriously - those of you in the west country and especially Cornwall will know what I mean. The last time I saw rain like that was a few years ago when Boscastle got flooded! Took us 6 hours to get back without a break, and there were cars flying off the road all over the place. It was like driving through an actual lake - not fun!

PLUS I got lost in St Austell. It's such a rubbish town - tiny and boring. Plus it's basically one big building site as it's all being regenerated at the moment. It's ok like, very friendly, just rubbish. Anyway, I got a taxi in from the hotel as it was all uphill and I didn't know where I was going in the pissing rain, went round the charity shops and stuff, then at 2pm I thought Matt would be finished soon so I'd head back to the hotel as it was only about a mile away, and sit in the costa coffee next door have a drink and read Cornwall Today while I waited for him. I didn't know the way so I asked a few people for directions, and they all said 'bottom of this road go right and carry on til you get to a double roundabout. Fine. Simple. Got to the bottom of the road and turned right. My umbrella was broken by this point and I was basically in the middle of a Cornish monsoon. There was no footpath so I had to walk on the verge (long sodden grass - mmm) up the biggest hill I have ever seen. I got to the top of the hill thinking the roundabout would be on the other side - but no! The road just carried on down and then up another hill and I could see it snaking off in the distance. So by now I am soaked, I am wearing suede trainers (don't ask) which are full of water, and I am totally wet through, can't see out my glasses, carrying all these heavy bags, and have just walked over 4 miles - almost 3 of them up this hill. Serious. So I just get hysterical, have a panic attack and start crying like a lunatic. There's all these cars whizzing past and you'd think someone might have stopped... anyway, I find a big concrete bus shelter so at least I'm out of the rain, and ring Matt - his phone is off so I leave him a hysterical message saying 'I'm lost on a big hill and I'm wet and my umbrella's broken and I don't know what to do' then wait for about 20 minutes trying to calm myself down. Eventually Matt rings and says he thinks he knows where I am. I wait, then he rings again and says I'm not there but he's asked a lollipop man and figured it out. So he turns up and I'm such a state! Honestly I can't remember the last time I was like that! But then, a few months ago before I went on the treatment I wouldn't have even tried to do anything like that so it's progress of a kind!

And breathe.

Anyway, Matt didn't bloody get the job. So we were pissed off after all the hassle to get down there and the weather wasn't even nice. We've done that 700 mile round trip 3 times in the last 5 weeks. And now we have to go again!

He's got an interview in St Ives, not sure when yet, but he really wants the job at Redruth which isn't til after so that may cause a problem as it's considered very bad form to accept a post then change your mind if you get offered one you want more... so we'll have to wait and see what happens there...

Bollocks, innit?

Well I am going to drink some wine and watch eurovision tonight which should cheer me up a bit. I need to list loads of stuff on ebay as we are so desperate for money - we got 3 red letters today, off the gas, electric and phone - they're all getting cut off next week if we don't pay them apparently, although where we are supposed to magic up 500 quid from in that time (on top of eating and finding money for more trips to bloody Cornwall) is anyone's guess. Any rich philanthropists out there reading this? You won't find a more appreciative recipient! Ah one can but dream.

Anyway, I am off to eat some sugar puffs.

Gem x

Hello!

Well, as usual for us, some saviour has come at the last hour - postie just brought the cheque! So at least we'll have enough money for some food and for me to amuse myself tomorrow!

We can't sort out the car tax, but we'll just have to risk that, it seems to just be a fine for it which we'll just have to accept I guess - we once drove around for a month and up and down from cornwall twice in that time with no tax simply because we didn't realise it was due! But we know this time and are not the kind of people to deliberately avoid such things! Ah well, needs must.

Right, so I am off to finish packing and get dressed etc. We want to leave by 11 but it's nearly ten now and Matt needs to go to Bury to cash this cheque and he's still in the shower at the moment! So we'll be doing well if we're off by 12 - don't want to get stuck in Cornish rush hour - there's only 2 roads and it can get a bit crowded....

Anyway, I'll let you know how it goes - keep your fingers crossed he gets the job!!

Laters 'taters...

Gem x

1 2 3 4 let me hear ya scream if ya want some more!!!

Sorry.

The look the lips the hips the tits - perfection...

I am PISSED OFF today.

Matt's cheque still hasn't come. We can hardly get anything for all the expensive things we own, and he took my wedding ring today to be valued for pawning and they said they'd give him £30!!! It's a huge thick ring with diamonds in it that cost £500 near enough - what the fuck?

So basically, unless the cheque comes tomorrow morning so Matt can go to Bury to cash it at the money shop, we're fucked. My dad used his card to book the hotel for us which was great, but we won't be able to get there unless we can find some money for petrol - £30 at least each way! And we'd probably need to eat something at some point too... I just dn't fucking know what to do! I know it's not like any of you guys can help or anything but I'm in such a state about this the only thing I can do at the moment is get it out my system and hope that a solution presents itself in the nex

Urgh. Bum bum bum. That's how I feel today.

My mother is bloody useless and won't help me with booking a hotel for thursday - found a hotel blah blah but we can't book it as we only have an electron card which they don't take, and you have to pay in advance. SO what are we supposed to do? Thought she might for once come through and help me when I needed it.

Matt went to the pawn shop place and they only give you about a quarter of the retail value for items, and you have to pay 30% interest on them to buy them back so a complete gay. BUT what else can we do? The most valuable things we have are my digital camera which I need for taking pics for ebay to make more money, and my slr and lenses which I wanted to take with me to Cornwall to take pictures in order to amuse myself. Plus I don't trust the grubby pawn barons with it. So. What the fuck do we do? We have one day left to find the cash, about £200, find a way to book the hotel and stuff. It's a bloody nightmare.

Apparently Truro School have already put the expenses cheque in the post although it was delayed because the retards put a spelling mistake in his name on it, but that's no good to us as it hasn't arrived yet. If it comes tomorrow I'll have to go into town specially (that's another £3.50) to take it to Matt so he can cash it, or if it comes on thursday matt will have to go into bury first thing to cash it - but that's cutting it a bit bloody fine ain't it? GOD this is so stressful, I'm trying to keep a level head but it's a bit fucking hard given the circumstances. If we can't even get down there for the interview how is Matt supposed to get a job and how are we supposed to pay our rent come september? Tell me. TELL ME. See? You can't because there is no correct answer.

I am going to sit here in a tizz and do this face until it is all better.

hey ya!

Long time no speaky! Been busy me!

Well we are off to Cornland again this week, Matt has another interview on friday so fingers crossed he'll get this one! Only problem is we have zero money so we are currently compiling a list of things we can put on buyback at cash generators to raise the funds! It's so wank, this month is just the worst financially for having to keep galavanting halfway accross the bloody country and back! Ah well, needs must.

Aside from that I don't have much news, I am currently in the process of re-decorating my hideous yellow painted drawers I got off freecycle. I'm newspapering them! Yes that's right folks, I am covering them in newspaper! And maybe some pin up girls for good measure - Matt thinks I should put the tits of 92 on but unfortunately they are still in a box at his godmother's house in north Wales.

Oh, shout out to Holski! Hello! Bizarrely the minute I logged on you joined my friends which was lovely! Except of course that now I have to uphold my end of the bargain and go and join facebook - bah! Send me another invitation and I will - promise!

I've been using some of this gradual fake tan stuff for a week or so now - it's the lighter one for fair skin as I'm of such a deathly pallow, the face one is fine but I can't for the life of me make the body one work! I put hardly any on and STILL go fucking streaky! What? Why can I not do this, I really am not a retard but still I can't figure it out! Please tell me I'm not alone I want to be brown!

That's about all I have to say for now - promise I'll stop being so lame and start writing daily again! I thought that some days I might just share some poetry or lyrics or some such thing with you if I'm too uninspired to think up my own witticisms. You'll like that you dirty bitches. Yeah yeah.

Crouton, crouton!!

Gem x